ufabet Cruise Ship Strikes Iceberg in North Atlantic: Poker Games Continue on Lifeboats
(UPI) REKJAVIK, ICELAND — Hundreds of poker players at sea took the worst beat of their lives when the luxury cruise liner, Queen Victoria II struck a massive iceberg in the icy, frigid waters of the North Atlantic. The maritime disaster took place an estimated 900 miles off the western tip of Greenland, exactly 91 years to the day after a similar incident befell the Titanic.
“I was losing my ass in a $1-5 stud game when all the sudden there was this loud bang,” recalled Louise Winston from Manchester, England. “The next thing I knew, people were scooping up their cards and chips and jumping into lifeboats.”
Apparently, the Queen Victoria II — which departed Liverpool, England on Monday morning and was scheduled to arrive in Miami, Florida on Saturday afternoon — charted hopelessly off course and into dangerous icy waters laced with hundreds of icebergs. Witnesses reported seeing the ship’s Captain, Sir Jonathan Wellington, Sr., obsessed with reading Middle Limit Holdem Poker in the control room during much of the cruise and completely ignored the dire warnings of his crewmates. “Captain Wellington kept on asking me if ace-jack was playable under-the-gun in a standard holdem game,” First Mate Danny Winters later told investigators. I snapped back, “I beg of you, Captain — don’t ask me a poker strategy question right now. All I know is there’s a huge white object coming toward us at 40 knots on the starboard side!”
Two days later, the great cruise ship becomes a maritime disaster.
Two days later, the great cruise ship becomes a maritime disaster.
The 967-foot cruise ship struck the immovable ice mass at approximately 3:15 am, GMT. Only minutes later, the entire structure was engulfed in smoke and flames. Remarkably, it took less than an hour for the giant hull to fill with sea water and entire mammoth structure to sink to the ocean floor below.
According to early reports, almost everyone on board appeared to survive the initial catastrophe. Only one death was confirmed. Most of the ship’s passengers were part of a package tour organized by Card Player Cruises, a tour operator based in Las Vegas, NV. The popular cruise company offers a wide variety of poker games, tournaments, and fun activities for everyone.
“Card Player Cruises is known for hosting unique vacations at sea,” tour organizer Jan Fisher told reporters afterward. “We’ve been to Central America, Alaska, Greece, Turkey — and even Long Beach. But this time our customers got a special bonus. They got to see what it’s like to slam headfirst into an iceberg and spend the next two nights stuck out in the middle of the cold, dark Atlantic wondering if they’ll ever be see their loved ones again. Where else can you get this kind of action, but Card Player Cruises?”
Just a few minutes after hitting the iceberg, sirens went off on each of the vessel’s six decks warning passengers to abandon ship. The warning sent thousands of tourists on holiday clamoring for lifeboats. However, their problems had only begun. Several arguments ensued when Card Player Cruise organizers had some difficulty coordinating games and limits according to lifeboat capacity.
“There was one lifeboat that held up to 60 people,” Fisher said. “I figured, we’ll try and run a super-satellite in that one.”
There was added confusion when some players immediately requested lifeboat changes. “I got sick of playing Texas holdem,” Bruce Kramer of Cherry Hill, NJ said. “I told the floorman to move me whenever the first seat opened up in one of the Omaha lifeboats.”
Another sticky issue arose when a decision had to be made about the lifeboats being smoking versus non-smoking. Smokers complained that since they were now outdoors, the non-smoking rule was no longer in effect. Non-smokers protested, citing the cruise was advertised as a non-smoking event. “I just spent the last 40 minutes swimming through a giant oil slick and my lungs are filled up with diesel fuel. The last thing I want right now is to be seated next to a smoker,” Kramer said as he finally got seated in his new Omaha High-Low lifeboat. Under the unusual circumstances, the floorman sided with Kramer and the Omaha boat was declared non-smoking. “If a cigarette ash would have landed on Mr. Kramer, he might have exploded with all the petrol built up in his system,” explained floorman, T.K. Krause. “I figure the last thing we needed is a lawsuit from one of his survivors.”
Other poker players were even more insistent on being placed in lifeboats that they deemed acceptable. When it became apparent there was only a single lifeboat left on deck with a few vacancies and the ship was sinking fast, one player refused a seat in the pot-limit boat. “I don’t want to play with Stan Crizzle,” an unidentified player said. “Hell, I’d rather go down with the ship.”
The lifeless half-eaten body of a middle-aged man reportedly washed up on the western shores of Ireland only a day later. According to the lone witness, the farmer who discovered the corpse, the man’s left hand was clutching a line pass for the ship’s midnight all-you-can-eat buffet. Those who made it into the lifeboats seemed to take the interruption in stride. After dragging a monster-size pot in the $30-60 lifeboat, Cruise Director Linda Johnson approached the front bow of the small watercraft. “Hey everybody, look at me……I feel like I’m flying!” Johnson shouted with her arms stretched out, much to the groans of her fellow cruise passengers hovered down low in the lifeboats in an attempt to stay warm.
“Look at her, she drags a pot and she thinks she’s a World Champion,” Stan Crizzle complained from the nearby pot-limit lifeboat. “This is the last time I take one of these damned poker cruises. Look at this, I was winning big — but where in the hell am I going to cash all these God-danged chips?”
https://claytonfletcher.game.blog/2021/10/30/the-man-in-the-thousand-dollar-suit/
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